LOVELY LITTLE RANTS

19.5 weeks with baby #2 and a life update!


Giving the baby kisses <3 





A few surprises around here!

1. We bought a house and moved in the end of June, it has been so great to have a place with so much space for Brighton to run around and to be able to paint and decorate exactly how WE want! The mortgage isn't super fun, but that's adulting, right??! Brighton LOVES having a backyard and I LOVE making this place ours!

2. I AM PREGNANT!! Baby #2 is a confirmed girl and I couldn't be more stoked! More on that below

3. We moved Brighton to a big girl bed!!! We went to Mexico a few weeks ago and she stayed at Grandma and papas. She only wanted to sleep in a bed so we didn't want to ruin a good thing and decided to move her on over right away! She is so little in her queen bed but she loves it so so much! She turned 2 in August (can you believe it??) and is talking SO MUCH! She is our absolute light and I don't think I'll ever be able to express to her how much I love her and how grateful I am that she is ours forever! Lately she LOVES having her fingers and toes painted pink (her pick, can't blame her!) She copies everything we say and do. She always says "oh shoot!" and "oh man!" because apparently Jason and I say those phrases a lot hahaha. I was just glad I said shoot instead of, well, you know.

Pregnancy update!
I am currently 19.5 weeks (20 weeks this Thursday) so I am HALF WAY THROUGH! So far this pregnancy has flown by pretty quick. I think it's mostly because I am distracted with chasing around my little ray of sunshine (and ENERGY BALL) all day long. I'm grateful for her distractions, though! I was sick a lot up until a few weeks ago, but not AS sick as I was with Brighton. Most days I have to kind of just suck it up because I feel so guilty sitting at home and not taking Brighton out to do fun things. I'm also not a homebody at all so being at home too long drives me crazy, too!

We have a few annual passes to a few fun kid places which is nice because 1. it's indoors and AZ is literally hot as hell. and 2. She can run around and I just follow her.  Luckily I have been feeling a lot better so we have been going out a lot more and more. I feel kind of bad, this pregnancy I haven't really done much updating at all! I feel like with Brighton, my business, and Jason/ family time, I ran of of room for anything else! I want to at least do a few updates when I remember to snap a few pictures and sit down to write.

We used Sneak Peak test to do an early blood test around 12 weeks to find out the gender so we have known for a few months! Since it is only 99.9% accurate (hahaha ONLY) we were going to wait until the anatomy scan (aka today) to tell friends and family the gender. Wellllll I can't keep a secret, especially when I am excited about something, and I told a lot of my close friends before we announced. We ended up announcing a few weeks ago to family and it was so funny to see the reactions! Jason and I and most of our family were CONVINCED she would be a HE. I think my  mothers intuition broke or something for a minute hahah.  Obviously I am SO excited to give Brighton a sister and I guess since it's a girl I can admit that I totally wanted another girl reallllly bad. Jason is excited but also REALLY wants a boy, 3rd time's the charm, right ;) If I can convince Jason to have one more baby after this, we MAY get a boy but I also wouldn't mind a house full of cute girls! It would be my dream come true!

Lately I am just super sleepy and hungry but that's better than the nausea I had earlier so I'll take it! We can't agree on a name (surprised?? haha) but we also named Brighton like a week before she was born so I guess it is just a trend! We always agree on boy names but we have different tastes on girl names. So for now she is baby girl! I really want to have a VBAC this time around so I've been trying to prepare my body for that as well! Most people say I am crazy, but I still want to go all natural if possible, wish me luck!!

Overall we are doing so great and enjoying settling into our house and prepping for our new baby. I can't believe we will have 2 kids this January or February but I'm excited for the craziness and MATCHING OUTFITS OBVIOUSLY!

xx
Candace

a VERY late Christmas + NYE post







CHRISTMAS

Ok I know this post is inching its way into March but I STILL want to remember Brighton's second Christmas :) The presents had been wrapped for nearly all of December and after the first few days of touching them and me telling her not to, she got over them. On Christmas, I think she was confused why we were opening them but she liked all of her new toys! I wanted to get her cute wooden toys because #millennial but also because I've read a little about monsouri and how apparently wood toys are good for growth and development!

The thing I was MOST excited about was making her kitchen! I had found a goldmine of ideas on pinterest to redo the ikea kid's kitchen so I couldn't wait to make Brighton's! Jason tried to surprise me by getting it all put together and painted but I seem to have a 6th sense where whenever he is trying to surprise me with something sweet I always seem to walk in and see what he's doing. He helped a ton and I am SO happy with how it turned out! It's taken her a little bit of time to start really understanding it and wanting to play with it but I think it will be so fun for her to have as she grows up and likes to play pretend more.

My dad and 2/3 of my brothers came over Christmas day and we did more present opening and just hung out for a while. Later that afternoon, we went to Jason's parents house to see all of his family and that involved more present opening and FOOD. aka the best part of the holidays. Jason's parents got me a kitchen aid that I have LOVED so much!! I find reasons to blend things in it because I'm basically a child and that stuff is so fun for me haha. Jason got me TAYLOR SWIFT tickets (!!!!!!!) and a necklace I've been wanting. I can't WAIT to go to the concert together in a few months! I think Jason secretly loves Taylor as much as I do ;)





New years eve was really chill but still so fun! We went and saw family, ate food, the works! I tried to get a cute confetti picture and this is the best I could do haha forever grateful that Jason will take pictures with me even though it may be his least favorite thing to do. He'll be grateful when we're old and wrinkly and we can look back at our life together, right?!

NYE night, my twin brother came over and one of Jason's friends came over and we just played ticket to ride until midnight and then set off some fireworks! Our neighbor came outside right we we were almost done and got mad that we were doing fireworks, like sorry for setting them off on New year...?

It was fine though and since I barely make it to midnight these days, I was happy to go to bed and get some sleep! Jason does a bow hunt every New Years day that he looks forward to all year so he woke up super early to leave and get us a pig. A javelina... not my favorite animal to eat but Jason is basically Katnis and got one!



So far this year has been really good! I always love making goals and new beginnings and I am so excited to see what else happens in 2018!

xo
Candace

An update.

Since my last post I have received so much love and positivity. That is all I could ask for and all I want. The only mean comments I have gotten have unfortunately been from strangers who are unhappy with my decision. The mean comments were like less than .0001% of the comments I got but luckily, those people are all strangers who don't know me or my story but their comments sting like salt in a fresh wound. I've cried. I've debated putting my post back into my drafts so it never sees the light of day. Just deleting it off of this public space altogether. And then I remember the dozens, maybe hundreds of kind comments and messages. So many of you have expressed that you have felt so alone in your own journey. That you weren't sure how to help loved ones understand your story so you shared my post with them. Many people who are LDS have reached out and expressed their love, kindness, and support. They don't care what I believe and they know my heart. To those people- thank you SO much. Your words mean so much more than you will ever know.

I have used this piece of internet to share my life story in all aspects. I've made so many wonderful friends and connections because of my blog. I don't shy away from being vulnerable or to be just a goofy mom who is doing the best I can for my family.

My post was seen by WAY more people than I ever meant to see it. It was literally a post I wrote to help my friends and family understand my decision a little better. My post wasn't meant to be a history lesson. I shared very small tidbits of things that led me to where I am today. I left a few sources for anyone who didn't want to take my word for it (please don't, please do your own study because I'm just some girl on the internet ;) ) I didn't want to dive deep because that wasn't what my post was about. I am not a historian and I will never claim to be one. I have spent countless hours and months researching every valuable source I could and came to my own conclusions. I am so very aware that my conclusion doesn't have to be your conclusion. I don't think people who believe in the Mormon church are wrong, I can't call their personal experiences and conclusions wrong. They just aren't right for me. I don't think anyone on earth is 100% right. I know I'm not 100% right and I am happy to admit it. We all have our own ideas that lead us to our own happiness and that is pretty freaking amazing.

And for the record, Jason is probably the best person in the entire world. His love and support is something I can never be grateful enough for. If anything, I know I'm right about that!

Thank you.
xo
Candace
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